Hey friend,

I hope you’re aware of the illusion of you. The one where everything great about you becomes a cozy blanket for your shortcomings, keeping you warm enough to never confront them. You know who you’ve been. You know the person your choices have created so far. But you’re not done right? I hope so. Because you’re still here.

There is no optimal version of you waiting somewhere in the future. There is no final form of yourself that you will eventually reach, where everything makes sense and all your flaws have disappeared. You are meant to continuously grow, and growth requires you to repeatedly confront the person you thought you were.

This same principle applies to so much of life. You don’t understand the depth of joy until you’ve sat with pain. You don’t really understand disappointment until you’ve been left with only one option. You may never know how violent you can be until you’re forced to fight for your life. And sometimes, you don’t know who you truly are until you’ve done something you regret or acted in a way that contradicts your identity.

If you have followed my writing for some time, you’ll notice this isn’t the first time I’m talking about identity. Maybe that’s because I have struggled with it, and still do. But in all my years of struggling with it, there is one thing I have become sure of: sometimes you discover yourself by becoming someone you never thought you could be.

I can’t tell you how to make money, take care of your kids, gain power, or win at the battle of life. I’m here for the one thing you typically neglect because of what reality takes from you. Your mind. The only place where you have any real chance at autonomy. And I’m here to tell you that, unlike the battle of life, which can sometimes feel linear and predictable, the battle within your mind is anything but. It’s constant chaos inside an enormous array of possibilities. Every decision you make adds another brick to the pyramid of your identity.

Eventually, that identity translates into how you react to the real world. Maybe it wouldn’t be so complicated if there weren’t so many options. If everything were simply black or white. But even black and white have endless variations. This is why I don’t think your identity translates into your choices. It’s your choices that translate into your identity.

Who you are is a record of what you’ve repeatedly chosen. No one is born as anything. This is why I think the illusion of identity is believing that you already know who you are. But there are still bricks you haven’t placed, decisions you haven’t made, and versions of yourself you’ve never met.

Every choice is your power to create the life you want.

Song of the moment- Born to Die by Shaboozey. Until next time my friend, don’t forget to share with someone ❤️