One idea of love I’ve always struggled to believe in is the concept of love languages; the notion that there are only five. To me, that oversimplifies something as vast and complex as love. The idea that everyone fits neatly into one, a few, or all of these categories doesn’t sit right either. We are all uniquely made, how can we all love the same?

I believe that just as we differ in personality, upbringing, and values, the ways we give and receive love are equally unique. But one thing remains unchanged across the board: love is action. It is what you do and who you are. It flows from the inside out, not the outside in. We’ll keep discovering new layers of love for the rest of our lives, and still, it won’t look exactly the same for you and me.

Let me be clear: I’m speaking about romantic love.

Do you remember your first crush? Was it butterflies in your stomach or a nervous, sweaty mess? Do you remember what made you feel that way about them? And when you think about it now, does it still feel magical or a little ridiculous?

As silly as some of those memories might seem, there were probably things you hoped they’d do to validate your feelings. Maybe you wished they felt the same way. Maybe you wanted them to light up when you walked into a room or always be in your corner. We’ve all been there.

But did you notice how we often want to receive love before we’re willing to give it? That our version of love is full of expectation. And because we’re wired for self-preservation, we often look for validation first, placing our own feelings above the act of loving someone else.

Love is part of what brings joy, meaning, and a sense of spontaneity to an otherwise mundane life. But what if the real journey of love is about learning to shift from expecting to being? From selfishness to selflessness?

Because love, in itself, doesn’t hurt. People hurt us. Love is a beautiful thing to share. The pain and drama we associate with it usually stem from broken expectations. Love doesn’t demand, it refines. It stretches you. It teaches you that giving your all might hurt, but there’s really no other way to love.

So despite the heartbreaks and the drama, you keep trying. You give your all, not that you’re naive or the fairy tales you believe in aren’t real. But because you’re brave. You know this is a journey and the goal is to eventually get it right. Don’t fret, you will.

For Doyin – because when it comes down to it, there’s no in-between. It’s either love or it isn’t.

Song of the moment- Sapphire by Ed Sheeran.

Have a lovely week❤️