Have you ever been shot? I haven’t either, but I’m just imagining that the experience might help you understand what I’m about to tell you. I’d like to believe that most of my readers haven’t, which makes me grateful, so I will explain this based on what I’ve seen in movies, not from personal experience. I imagine the pain of a gunshot to be very surprising and intensely painful, instantly immobilizing you.

Before your brain fully comprehends being shot—not a headshot, though, because you wouldn’t be able to think—let’s say it’s a bullet to your leg, you’re already on the floor, groaning from the pain. You cannot think about anything else but the pain and wonder if this is the end.

So, I want you to imagine that sudden, jarring pain and hold it somewhere in your mind because you’ll need this image to understand what I’m about to share. The reason it took me this long to write again is that I was shot. Not by a gun, relax, but it sure felt like one. I was on the floor, wondering if this was the end. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t suffering from the pain of the shot anymore but from my thoughts of it being the end.

This is the key difference between the star actor and the extras in a movie. The star has a goal, a motive that a gunshot usually doesn’t stop. Even if they can’t go on, there’s someone who will keep going on their behalf, whereas the extras are directly tied to the star. If they get shot, the movie keeps rolling. If the star dies, their screentime is over. Their motive didn’t matter—only that of the star actor.

This shot—again, not a real gunshot—made me realize that maybe I’ve been playing the extra in my own story. I got hit, and suddenly I had no motive; it felt like the story was over while the movie was still playing. I had turned the problem into the star actor; it shot me in the leg, and now I’m bleeding out and immobilized while it continues to rage toward its goal.

Okay, we get it, Grace, but what exactly are you saying?

What I’m saying is that you don’t seem to realize that your problems are directly dependent on you. Without you, they wouldn’t be a problem, a character in your life, or even have a voice. You are the star actor, and as much as they control the external, you are still the driving force.

So, yes, life will spin out of your control—you’ll get shot, the unexpected will happen, you’ll be helpless, you’ll cry, fake happiness for a while, overeat, not eat, cry some more, shut everyone out; the list goes on. The harder you try, the more ground it seems to gain on you. It’s because you’ve switched roles—you’ve given power to what would have none if it weren’t for you. You’ve lost sight of where you were going and let life toss you around like an extra.

Maybe I’m starting to sound like one of those “aspire to inspire” types, lol. But I wouldn’t write about something I can’t relate to, nor will I tell you to realize things I haven’t already. Life is not easy—I cannot emphasize this enough—but what makes it bearable is building mental strength strong enough to withstand the storm.

I know you think this current challenge might be impossible, but remember, you also thought that about the last challenge, and the one before that. Now you see that that’s all they are—challenges, gunshots, problems, whatever you want to call them. Yes, they’ll make living unbearable, but that’s how the best movies are made. It’s still your story.

Song of the moment – The Door by Teddy Swims.

It’s nice to be a voice in your head again. Welcome to the last quarter of the year. Love always ❤️