I have a new realization, which might seem like an unusual introductory sentence because that’s usually the basis of these blog posts every week. But maybe you need a reminder that what you read here are personal opinions and realizations I’d rather share than keep to myself before you start taking me too seriously. I mean, this is quite serious stuff, but it is still subject to your prerogative. As much as I want you to learn from me, I have no authority over your choices, nor am I a judge.

So, with that said, I’m not here to tell you what to do. Rather, I’m here to show you a glimpse of my mind so that you can relate and objectively filter my words through your personal lens. Back to this week’s realization—did I keep you in suspense long enough? You can breathe now… “Maybe the reason others have so much power over you is because you’re holding them responsible for things out of your control.”

It’s easy to think of control within your context and accept that there isn’t much you can do. But may I present to you “expectations.” You’re taught to expect; it’s literally the only way to survive when you cannot do anything for yourself. But now that the responsibility is on you, your expectations don’t just disappear.

You’re not used to handling it all on your own. So, you switch that control to other people through expectations. That way, you can indirectly control them by holding them responsible. Or at least, that’s what you think you’re doing. But rather, you’re allowing them to affect your life in ways they had no business doing if you had truly accepted that it was outside your control and left it at that.

But you put it in someone else’s control, which may or may not be feasible, and still try to control that. In case you need a term, that’s called manipulation. Big word, I know, and who am I to even name that? Let’s pretend that’s not true and stick to less jarring words like control and expectations.

Here’s my question: if it were so easy, why didn’t you put that expectation on yourself? Why is it easier to admit your shortcomings and not those of others? What do they owe you that makes you feel they’re responsible for your deficit?

It doesn’t matter who they are to you. When someone is kind to you, it’s because they choose to be, not because they have to. Don’t swap that for entitlement, because guess who’s going to be hurt and disappointed if they choose not to? Just you.

Many of us right now are guilty of blaming something or someone for a bad experience in our lives or how our life is unfolding. You’ve exceeded the time limit for that. I am not disputing the validity of the experience, but don’t walk around acting like you’re unable to change that narrative. Don’t keep yourself stuck where they left you because you’re still expecting something.

I’ll remind you again: it is your life, and if you choose to let someone or something else affect it, it’s still on you.

Song of the moment – Streets – Dwin, The Stoic, Rhaffy.

A little delusion for your goals won’t hurt this week. Take care❤️