For some years now, one of the biggest battles I have to fight every day is being away from the people who make life worth living. I am deeply grateful to be where I am, but also deeply grieved at the same time. I envy people who are constantly around family and friends; it’s such a wonderful privilege to be with the ones who take you away from the harsh reality of life.

I know it’s for a season, but this season doesn’t seem to end; every day is the same. To be truly happy takes a lot of work. It’s overwhelming when compared to moments in my life where I see people light up because I am home, where the world outside was nothing compared to the little world my friends and I created.

It’s hard, and it made me think: What really keeps you going? The people who are millions of miles away from you? The goals you set? The type of life you want to live? I would give all this up to have those moments again. And then what? Will I be free from reality? Will my little moments of happiness suffice for the rest of my life?

You know the answer to that. You know it won’t. You also know that it is momentary, and sooner or later reality will catch up to you. To make this more complicated, you’re aware that tomorrow isn’t promised; life is fleeting and goes by before you even know it. So where should you stand?

Right here… right at this crossroads of reality.

Why? Because you still have something that transcends time and reality. Something no one can take from you. Something that is renewed with each breath you take: hope. Hope that your choice of sacrifice will not be in vain. Hope that tomorrow may be the day everything changes for the better; that this, too, shall pass, no matter how long it seems to take.

There is nothing easy about living. It’s basically you thriving in chaos, then looking back at your story years down the line and laughing at your stupid mistakes or regretting the choices you didn’t make. Things don’t usually go as you plan; the people you love won’t be with you forever, and you’ll constantly have something to worry about.

But still, we hope. Not because we don’t already know all this, but because despite that, we’d rather be here than gone. And if we’re still here, we’ll make it count somehow. Even though it looks like nothing counts right now, we will still count our years with joy.

Because if not, then what? A miserable, depressing life? If the goal is not to be hungry, will you eat trash? I guess not. If it’s going to end anyway, I should live every day like it won’t, and so when it does end, I’ll be ready and content that I spent my time well. You and I will keep hoping that it might get better today and also that today isn’t the day it ends.

I wish you a week full of beautiful wonders❤️

Song of the moment – In the light – by Michael Marcagi