If there’s one skill I had to painfully learn, it’s choosing what bothers me. Before now, I rarely let things slide, and I would overanalyze even the smallest gestures from people or overthink situations. Even those I have no control over. Why? It gave me a false sense of being in charge or calling all the shots in my life. Realizing this was truly liberating, and when people ask me why I’m always smiling or happy, I don’t tell them how hard it is to do that but say that’s just me.

To be honest, that’s not me; instead, I’m faking who I want to be, hoping that I really am one day. I’m not saying there are no bad days; of course, there are days I can’t help it. And sometimes, because I have held on for so long in my lala land, all the stuff I ignored starts rushing at me in waves. But you know what happens after? I choose to be happy again.

People think it’s effortless to choose positivity all the time. I don’t know about others, but for me, I’ll say it’s a tough decision you have to make every moment. Life will always happen to you, whether you are happy or sad. Situations outside your control will always seem insurmountable; that’s just how it works. It is your choice on how to take it on. Would you be happy regardless or fall into the norm of sadness?

I call it a norm because it’s easy. If you’re having a bad day, you must reach deeper into yourself than anything that happened to find joy despite it. Do you think that’s easy? Why do you think it’s sometimes hard to spot depression in people who are always so happy? The pain has pushed them so hard that faking happiness is an escape.

A few years ago, my goal in life was to be happy. It’s funny when I think about it now, but I thought it was somewhere I was meant to go. I thought the things you had would bring you joy or how much you are loved. I felt that since growing older fetched such things, I just had to wait till then, only to realize that if I didn’t stop chasing and start choosing, I would never find it.

Happiness is not and should never be a goal; it’s a feeling like every other emotion, and trying so hard to sustain it will only leave you feeling more miserable. What you want to work on is your joy and peace. Money can make you happy, comedy skits can put you in a good mood, and you can laugh at people’s silly mistakes. But nothing will bring you joy and peace as much as your choices.

You know what’s better; none of that is external. It is all you; you choose what bothers you, who to love, or what dreams to chase. It has nothing to do with anyone or anything else because people will change, and things will pass. If you tie your happiness to such temporary things, how long can you sustain the high?

So, if you see me laughing so quickly or smiling at everyone, it’s not that I don’t have worries or my life is easy. It’s because I choose to be okay with it. If we’re all in this for the long ride, I don’t want to do it grumpy, nor should you.

Here’s a beautiful song to remind you what’s truly important – Give a little kindness – by Lloyiso. Enjoy your week❤️