How bad do you want it? Whatever your mind has drifted to right now probably ranks first on your list of desperate outcomes. Does that make you a desperate person? Who would do anything to get what you want? Usually, that’s not the case; you really want it but would not kill someone for it. Or tell a lie, or compromise your values for it.

That isn’t desperation; it’s something you want whose urgency has not quite graduated into desperation. But does this mean you do not want it bad enough? You want it, but why would you not do anything for it?

Does that make you less than those who have it? How far did they go to get it? Are you willing to go that far?

You don’t and will never know someone else’s level of desperation. That they have it does not mean they did the right things to get there or are happy with the outcome. But look at you, beautifully crafting another measure of comparison. 

There’s this saying that if we all put our problems on a table and deliberate an exchange, each person will end up taking theirs back. Why? Pardon my slang, but your shege is always just the right amount for you. And if you really think it’s too much to bear, all you need to do is a stretch beyond who you currently are.

Desperation is a fruit of comparison; if you plant its seed and nurture it long enough, you make decisions you usually wouldn’t. You violate your values and disrespect yourself just to get whatever it is you want. But is it really worth it? If you were not desperate enough to do it then, why do it now because someone else has it?

When broken down into fragments of the right thought process, most things that seem mysterious are quite simple. If not having something didn’t matter to you before you met someone or started a new habit, how come it’s now the only thing in the world you want?

This doesn’t apply to good things, or whatever your description of good is. And if you have to do bad things to arrive at your definition of good, something is shady. Maybe you want the right things for the wrong reasons, or vice versa.

I keep using “it,” but try swapping it with someone, if that’s the case for you. 

The person you are now is good; yes, you can be better, but don’t pay the cost of desperation. Take your time; just as you have with every good thing in your life, you’re not leaving here with anything, anyway.

Song of the moment – Better days – Buju & Sarkodie