David,hi, how are you feeling today? Good? Consistent with who you think you are? Better then.

Relax, I know your name is not David but I wanted to test the value you put in you being you and how sure you were that I was not referring to you.

So a little bit of theory today, there was a man, Erik Erickson, who told us that there are stages in our identity which is simply what you think of yourself when you look in the mirror, and is determined by so many variables, with something as little as the soundtrack of your favorite cartoon show as a kid,yeah weird.

When we are born, our minds are like clean magnet, attracting every type of metal (experience) it comes in contact with, right from the hospital bed. It is as we grow older that we are able to filter through what our mind magnets, why? Because we have been able to develop a sense of identity, we see ourselves in a kind of way that anything that does not align with our values and principles gets filtered out.

I personally think there are variations to this identity thing; who you really are, who people think you are, who you want to be, who people want you to be, and who you want people to think you are.

Everything that happens to you and I has a direct effect on our identity and that is why David is okay with me referring to him in the first paragraph and you are not. That is why we understand and perceive things differently, why I would rather read than watch an Opera performance, or you would prefer Wizkid to Burnaboy, vice versa or whoever suits your fancy.

So what happens when there is a crisis or a conflict in our identity, it is when you look in the mirror and you cannot stare intentionally in your eyes, baring yourself to yourself because you are not who you think or say you are.

It is when you are a die hard Burna fan, you claim to be but you do not know what drove him to music.

You claim you are a feminist, you think you are a feminist but all you do is make people think there is nothing good about men.

You say you are honest, but then lie at every chance you get.

So yes, some of us cannot look at ourselves in the mirror, why? because we have been so inconsistent with our identity and maybe the variations of it too.

Because what we see is a lie.

It is sad that many of us are in this crisis, and we just keep trying to avoid the mirror, my question is?

Until when?

Heyyyy, thank you for reading, let me know what you think in the comments, and if it’s your first time here, you’re welcome, it has and will always be a fun ride🥰 Don’t forget to share….