I have always been good at reading people; I call it a mini-superpower. Not because I am always right, but that’s basically how superpowers work—what you can do that others can’t. I can share the spotlight if you can also read people; it’s no big deal. But that’s not why we are here today; I have noticed a pattern, and trust me, I never keep habits away from you.

In observing people, I have created standards. Whether you know it or not, I unconsciously judge you each time we meet. I don’t think you should judge me because chances are you do the same. Remember when I mentioned a pattern? Here’s how it works: I can tell if you are not genuine or uncomfortable around me. Your face can hide it, but usually, your body never does. If you are a fan of psychology, there are some basics you should have come across, like folded arms.

But these basics depend on your standards and who the other person is. Each time you meet someone, you’re constantly measuring their reactions to your criteria, but you never consider the other person because we are all selfish. You measure what you expect versus how they react and reach a conclusion on your own. This especially happens in perceptive situations where what you think about them is solely your opinion.

Here’s where the flaw is: you rarely think about the cause of the reaction. You base your conclusion on what you can see or hear. This is a given; no one expects you to be psychic, so most communication models emphasize the use of words. But this puts you in a box; anything outside your expectations or standards is interpreted as bad, even if it makes sense. So even if the other person is an expert at using his words, it’s a failure if they are not speaking the language of your expectations.

This is why I rarely make new friends and feel more connected to people who stay far away from me. It’s why I look for all the attributes I want in a friend in one single person. My standards and expectations interpret proximity as a setup for ridicule (see-finish) or a basis for disrespect. Things like your location, appearance, or level of influence determine where I think your mind is at.

Not that it’s intentional, but that’s how your trauma has shaped your thought process. But you can be wrong; your view is not the ultimate. I have realized this, and so should you. You close doors that would lead to unlocking new levels and intentionally put barriers between you and a better self.

So, this is me openly attesting that I intentionally build walls to keep me away from people, not only because of my biased standards but also because I am not bold enough to see life from another’s point of view. I am afraid it will destroy the things I believe in.

What’s your confession? Think about that while you enjoy this song from Asake – Lonely at the top

Have a truly beautiful week 🥰 Don’t forget to share if you can relate ☺️✌🏽