Last post, I asked about how you cope when you feel life has compromised your identity, when you only recognize who you were but not who you are. I put some thought into it and I have one more question. Did you forget? How fleeting must the days have been for you not to recall why you are the way you are right now?

Did you forget or chose not to remember, because the only way you do not recognize yourself is that you have forgotten the choices that led you here? Although you may be wrong and need to retrace your steps, but what if you are not? What if this is exactly who you need to be?

Over the years, I have learned that life will always nudge you to be better, be it through pain, loss, hurt, or situations that are beyond your control. But it’s two sides of a coin. You will always have a choice. Either to remain as that 13-year-old kid protected kid or throw the first punch.

If food was in the same state before and after it is prepared, why would we need to cook it? If you already know everything you need to win in life, why is it still so hard?

I know it can be tiring. You need to live a comfortable life, all the while paying to stay alive and adding a little extra effort to stay sane. It’s just a circle that never ends and that is why you cannot wait for life to happen to you.

That is the reason you have to create a life you want, but that would not be possible if you have not taken out the time to decide who you want to be. Although deciding who you want to be does not come with an ultimate, you will need to wear different hats at different points in your life.

Do you want to be the mechanic when you need a plumber? Or a pilot when you need a gardener? Here’s how I want you to understand this: the person I was two years ago would not have been able to live in Lagos for about a year now. That girl would have lived off other people’s opinions.

She would have sucked at relationships, unable to commit or be consistent enough to work for what she wanted out of life. Life could have been more fun for her, but empty regardless. She would have had no depth, no soul, and no shame.

That’s how I want you to think about this. You’re not a static, you are meant to move, shift and evolve.

So, don’t forget your catalysts or your choices. The only places you should look for answers are inward and forward, never backward.