Hola! 🥳 welcome back to Grace’s blog, I have been looking forward to this moment all week, thank you 🙏🏽 for taking the time out for this😊 Shall we? great 👍

As much as I do not want you to take everything personally ,I strongly advise that you protect your self worth when the need arises. I will also say do not stick around or enable scenarios that would let people walk all over you.

Like it or not, we all crave power, everyone loves the feeling that someone else is influenced by their actions. Whether it’s in a good way or bad way, what matters is the influence gained from exercising power.

Someone I know once told me that you teach people how to treat you, from interactions, body language and other aspects of communication. Your actions show people if you’re a pushover or someone not to mess with.

It’s like putting your hand on a hot stove and it burns. The next time you see a hot stove, of course you’re not going to touch it. Let me give you a true story, I know someone who bullies me because I gave room for it. When it started, I thought I was being humble and respectful and as a well trained Yoruba girl, showed that I can be lowly.

But slowly, the bullying became toxic and it started to affect my mental health. One day, the usual cycle began, scolding and name calling; and the voice in my head said ‘‘you wouldn’t take this from someone else, why do you always have to go through this with this person? what makes it different?’’ Status, I answered, I let this person treat me this way because of our different statuses in life.

Before entering the real world, most of your environment is composed of people who are in the same status as you, or we could put that as a range, but it’s not a very wide range. So, you’re used to it, and your self worth isn’t tested as much, although it is, but the standards then are not what they are now.

When I was out of school, the disparity was alarming, there are people who almost have it all and your rank or what you thought you were worth is now being measured against millions of people, not just your classmates, study group or friends, but an entire population.

So real life humbles you, you realize, you’re not that much, there are people who have and will always have more than you do. That’s why you shouldn’t base your worth on material things or status by the way, too dynamic.

Back to differing status, I had no one to tell me otherwise, that people with status aren’t meant to be worshipped, mutual respect will do and I learnt the hard way. When you let them take a step, they run a mile, especially those who do not understand how respect and power works.

This is where you stand up for yourself, when you show that you’re much more than they’re seeing at the moment and although they might have the status and the power now, you’re also someone capable of becoming much more in the long run.

Back to the voice in my head, I went home pondering what I had heard, I was fed up and I really wanted to change the way I was being treated and seen by this person. I was no pushover, people who know me know that I’ve never been, this new identity was draining me and I wasn’t having it, so I decided to teach this person how to treat me, one step at a time.

I always look at my feet when this bullying begins, usually to control my temper and zone out if possible, but because of my decision to change how I was seen, I started by looking them square in the eye each time I was spoken to, head straight, shoulders back, my hands in front of me instead of behind me and a stare that was saying you better not mess with me.

That seemed to tone it down, I got more courageous and spoke out the next time, although my voice was shaky and almost a whisper but the reaction this time was that their tone became lower, it was almost as if we were having a normal conversation.

I loved it, it made me really bold and I started to feel like myself again, subsequently, my voice wasn’t shaky, it was stern enough to get my point across. For this I got an apology 😉oh I was on fire, I even did a little dance after.

Eventually, the bullying stopped, no high tones, name calling, or scolding. Just adults having a healthy conversation about an issue.

I felt so powerful and really bad that I underestimated and let myself be treated like a push-over. It made me realize that my body language had rendered me powerless, and each time I looked down I was signaling that yes, you can call me names and walk all over me. I’ll go home and cry later, it’s totally fine.

Today I’m telling you that you don’t have to go through that, that you deserve to be respected, and people do not have to walk all over you because they have the power and status, you have power too, you have potential and theirs might have manifested but they don’t know half of what you’re capable of achieving.

But power isn’t just handed down, it’s taken. As Cersei will say -power is power. So, go on and show who you are and can be, your self worth is not to be messed with.

Our song pick for the week or maybe we should call it a power chant will set your mood just right😉 Have an amazing week guys🥳

Chika – CROWN